Personal struggles come in many forms. For some, it can manifest itself in an unknown reason that causes depression, for others its dealing with current or past issues with other people. But let’s not forget the struggle of dealing with a recently diagnosed disease. Being diagnosed with a chronic disease changes your life forever, changes the way people treat you, and it might even change the way you treat people…if you let it.
I ran across a blog today called Dear Thyroid. This blog had a section called “Wearing My Disease On My Sleeve” which has a lesson in it for all of us. And one courageous young lady in particular gave her story. Manda’s strength and bravery made me sit back and think about how I have let my disease or past issues effect me, and I hope her story inspires you as it did me.
Below, with the author’s permission, I have given you a short section of Manda’s story. I encourage you to read the rest of her story by clicking on the ‘read more’ link at the end of this post.
“Wearing my disease on my sleeve is a frightening prospect, but one I feel I’m finally ready for. I am tired of hiding and pretending and trying to be what everyone else wants me to be. I haven’t exactly come out of the thyloset just yet, but my toes are poking out and I’m peeking around the corner thinking – yes, I can do this!
Since diagnosis two and a half years ago, it feels as though I’ve been living by everyone else’s rules and expectations. Shutting my mouth when Doc says my numbers are normal; Pretending to be well because that is what my family want to see; Trying not to let on to my trusty sidekick that I feel unwell lest he regret being lumped with a sick chick; Wearing myself out trying to be that same girl, same mother, same friend that I was pre-hashi’s.
For a long time I’ve been embarrassed to talk to anyone about my disease… “read more HERE“
I ran by this post via Twitter by a blogger named Tali. She runs the website Cupkake Mafia. Cute name and a really fun site! Her post was about how to make the holidays more meaningful without overboard, or simply finding smarter ways to ways to give gifts that have a special meaning behind them. Below, I will give you the beginning of her post, but please be sure to follow the ‘more here’ link for the rest of her great ideas!
Thanks Tali, for letting me share the story on my blog….
I will be honest, I don’t like shopping. I have never understood Black Friday and find it frightening that so many people consider it the highlight of their year. While I am not a fan of that level of consumerism, I love giving gifts. There is nothing like the feeling of giving someone a mindful gift. Something meant for them that says “You’re special and I appreciate you for all that you are”. This season I thought I would put together a few thoughts on ways to be mindful in your giving. My ideas will tend to focus on the outdoorsy and crafty types because that’s what I know, but these ideas can easily transition to people with other hobbies and interests.
Recycle
The term re-gift has a very negative connotation, considered something we do when we run out of time to buy a gift or don’t care enough to shop for someone. However giving someone something you love can be one of the most thoughtful gifts. This year I have asked my friends to not give me gifts however I have invited them to do a holiday book exchange. The rules are simple, it can’t be a new book, it has to be one from their existing stash and that they want to share with me. In return I will choose a book from my collection for them.
Read more of Tali’s suggestions HERE.
I’ve been addicted to a few things in the past (that’s for another post down the road) but none has cconsumed me quite like the iPhone has. And as the commercial says, you can find an app for ‘almost’ anything. So I went on a search for mental health applications and these are the four FREE apps that I ran across.
I’ll start with the Mental Illness app. If your were to judge an app by its cover, so to speak, you would assume this app would be education towards knowing what parts of the brain are in scope for specific mental illnesses. But you, like me, would be way off. This app is a simple A-Z list and definition of mental illness diagnosis. That’s it. Nothing more. Handy, but not worth taking up space on my iPhone….deleted.
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Next up is the Psych Drugs app. This too has a simple A-Z list of Pshych drugs…no shocker there. But I did find this one useful as you can see half-Life times, dosagess, and some other information that is valuable for someone who is trying to find just the right med to help with their given issue. This one will be a keeper…it stays!
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I’ll say right up front that the next one was a complete FAIL for me. The app is called Psych Facts and I expected some really good content here. What you actually get is basically bathroom reading matterial. Quick little tid-bits about different psychological issues, illnesses, trends, and so on. There is no search feature, no categories…it just cycles through these colorful post-it note slides with random information. Deleted!
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I’m not going to get long winded about this…Take the Mental Illness app I already mentioned above, replace mental illness conditions with industry terms, and there you have it. Deleted.
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Now HERE is an app worth talking about! Psych Help does exactly what it says. This app uses your current location and then you select from the dozens of different mental helth proffessional types. Then, it will map ouot the closest ones to you, offer a website if there is one, and provide a one touch dial in case you found what you want! Total winner in my book! It’s a keeper!
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One of these apps has zippo to do with mental health per se, but certainly applies here for me. I downloaded the Offender Locator app for uner $2, and now, no matter where I am in the US, I can scan the area for registered sex offenders. That gives me a little peace of mind which is what mental health should be all about, yes?
I am still not comfortable with discussing the details yet and I may never be. My story isn’t anything you haven’t heard before and my guess is that you’ll be able to read through the lines if they happed to be a bit vague.
I have almost no memory of my childhood from 12 years old or younger, it is mostly gone. A few scenes exist here and there but not much. For example, we had a boat that we went on every weekend for years, not a single memory of that. I see family photos of events and it is as though I am looking at a strangers history, not mine.
I always wondered why my memory was so poor and why I had strong feeling about certain things, but a couple of years ago things came flooding back. The mind is amazing how it protects itself from things it knows will hurt. Why did my own mind decide to give up its secrets? I have my theories but I am also still working through it all. The short verson is that there was an older male, non-family member who had me in a daily position I couldn’t get out of. He took this daily opportunity to use me for his sick pleasures. I don’t remember all of it, I know there is more, but what I do know is bad enough to be pretty certain about the rest. He used alcohol mixed with apple juice and called it medicine for my horrible stomach pains caused by celiac disease. The strong alcohol would knock me out, make me even more sick, weeker, vulnerable, and I am sure you can imagine the rest.
So many questions come up about what to do with these new memories. Do I dig deep and learn eveything I can? Do I just settle with what I know and move on? Do I find someone to help me forget these events? Do I find this abuser…if I do…what will I do?
I would like to have a discussion on repressed memories of abuse/trauma, and I would also like to hear your thoughts and opinions on what the next steps should be. Please feel free to comment here or on my Forum page.
JT
October 10, 2009
While I was on Twitter, I ran across a very interesting person, Ane Weed. The reason she caught my attention was that she is a therapist who also understands food allergies as well as Hypersensitivity. I have Celiac Disease, which is an autoimmune disorder where I can not ingest gluten. Celiac disease has been linked to depression, autism, and cancer. It is great to see a therapist who sees that connection and willing to treat with more than just medication.
The one thing that I have been interested in lately is hypnosis, which is something that Ane offers as treatment. I of course know what it is but I don’t fully understand how it works or if it works. I would really like to hear your opinion on hypnosis be it pro or con. I personally have an open mind and I am willing to try anything within reason to not have to worry about panic attacks or severe lows.
Whenever I find a therapist that has a lot of what I am looking for, they are typically in another state, just as Ane is. However, Ane can work with you over the phone, in person, or even through skype! I haven’t had a thorough conversation with Ane but I do think I will set one up. How are things with your therapist?
By ALFIE KOHN
Published: September 14, 2009 via The New York Times
More than 50 years ago, the psychologist Carl Rogers suggested that simply loving our children wasn’t enough. We have to love them unconditionally, he said — for who they are, not for what they do
As a father, I know this is a tall order, but it becomes even more challenging now that so much of the advice we are given amounts to exactly the opposite. In effect, we’re given tips in conditional parenting, which comes in two flavors: turn up the affection when they’re good, withhold affection when they’re not.
Thus, the talk show host Phil McGraw tells us in his book “Family First” (Free Press, 2004) that what children need or enjoy should be offered contingently, turned into rewards to be doled out or withheld so they “behave according to your wishes.” And “one of the most powerful currencies for a child,” he adds, “is the parents’ acceptance and approval.”
Likewise, Jo Frost of “Supernanny,” in her book of the same name (Hyperion, 2005), says, “The best rewards are attention, praise and love,” and these should be held back “when the child behaves badly until she says she is sorry,” at which point the love is turned back on.
Conditional parenting isn’t limited to old-school authoritarians. Some people who wouldn’t dream of spanking choose instead to discipline their young children by forcibly isolating them, a tactic we prefer to call “time out.” Conversely, “positive reinforcement” teaches children that they are loved, and lovable, only when they do whatever we decide is a “good job.”
This raises the intriguing possibility that the problem with praise isn’t that it is done the wrong way — or handed out too easily, as social conservatives insist. Rather, it might be just another method of control, analogous to punishment. The primary message of all types of conditional parenting is that children must earn a parent’s love. A steady diet of that, Rogers warned, and children might eventually need a therapist to provide the unconditional acceptance they didn’t get when it counted.
But was Rogers right? Before we toss out mainstream discipline, it would be nice to have some evidence. And now we do. [click to continue…]
